Quitting Conditional Happiness and Living Now

Over the past few weeks, I've been engaged in a lot of new blogs and inspiring TED talks and YouTube videos that I'd like to share.

You may notice all of these links, though from different sources share a common theme: conditional happiness. 

Via Flickr/ Asja Boros

Placing conditions on our happiness is when we find ourselves wrapped up in the never-ending array of excuses that start with, "I'll be happy when..." 

When we put conditions on our happiness, we take away the potential for happiness in the here and now, which is already possible. By saying we can only be happy when, we take ourselves out of the present and project ourselves in a time that may or may not come. 

If we can't be happy now with what we already have, it's unlikely that anything materialistic or physical we obtain in the future will present us with what we've been seeking. What we're seeking is already inside.

All of these links serve as a gentle reminder that happiness is possible now. We have every condition we need to be happy in our bodies and in our current circumstance. The only thing standing in our way is ourselves and our own mindset. 

Let go of the conditional belief, and grab the reigns of the life you have always wished to live and start living it now. 

TED Talk: Living Without Shame: How We Can Empower Ourselves

-Whitney Thore, star of My Big Fat Fabulous Life talks about her lifelong struggle with shame surrounding her body image, which started when she was a mere 10-years old. Sound shocking?According to News Medical, statistics show 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat, while 72 percent of 7 year-olds are dieting. 

-Where is this fear coming from? Even if the diet industry is primarily targeting adults, these habits, behaviors, and products that are being marketed are being passed down to our children, who are observing all of our behaviors and attitudes towards our bodies and our food. 

-Whitney recounts her belief that when she got thin, she would finally be happy. Despite her work allowing her to travel the world, she said, "All of these experiences that should have been so wonderful were tinged with that disgusting and insidious shame that sucked the life and the color out of my memories and left me nothing but black and white, and a never-ending wish to be thin so I could really start my life."

-As she continued to gain weight, people began making assumptions that she was lazy and unmotivated, in turn causing her sense of self-worth to plummet. The decline in her sense of self-worth led her to quit her favorite activity of dance, and fail academics. 

-"I'd do anything to avoid going out in a world that didn't want me."

-It wasn't until she made the conscious decision to not allow other people's opinions of her to affect her sense of self-worth and stop her from living the life she so desperately wanted, and the one she deserved to live.

The Blessing of Living Unfinished

"We don’t get started on our priorities because we’re always trying to finish something else first. We live under the illusion that the to-do list will shrink and, once we’re done doing, we’ll get to start being."

• I love Dr. Kelly's honest approach to each topic he covers. He writes in a way that is aligned with the Buddhist philosophy that says we're not independent, but interdependent. Regardless of what we're going through, others are either going through it or have been through it and survived. 
• We spend so much time creating conditions for our happiness and making excuses for why we keep putting off what we really want to do in life. Dr. Kelly reminds us that our time is limited, so why wait for conditions that might never come to start living the life we truly want? Why not start now?

Not So Little Mermaid

• Plus size vlogger, Loey Lane recalls a time she was at Disney, and the park allowed kids to choose princess names. After writing "Ariel" on her name tag, a bully crossed it out and changed it to read Ursula. She recalls the damage it had on her self esteem that the closest character that resembled her body was considered a villain. 
• If we expect these characters: princesses, barbies, superheroes, etc. to reflect the characteristics we want our children to grow up to encompass, it is extremely important that these characters also reflect the diversity of our children in terms of body size, shape, race and ethnicity. 
• Going back to Dr. Kelly's blog post, we cannot and should not have to wait for 'ideal' conditions to start loving ourselves and our bodies. We need to set the standard that it is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to love the bodies we are in in this given moment. 

Barbie's Running for President, Too

• Continuing the trend of having role models for young girls and boys (dolls, princesses, superheroes) reflect our diverse physical appearance, Barbie has now furthered the initiative to include our diverse characteristics and career aspirations.
• No longer does Barbie simply reflect all the glitz and glamour that we see come out of Hollywood, but the new Presidential Barbie, available in six different skin tones encourages girls to aim as high as they wish with their dreams. The new Barbie encourages shattering glass ceilings. Because what we were once told was impossible, is becoming more and more possible with each passing year. And yes, that includes the possibility of a female president in 2017.
• The new Barbie shifts focus away from physical appearance towards aspirations, dreams, and creating effective change in the world. The box features encouraging sentiments to young girls like, "Are you interested in making the world a better place?" and "Nowadays there are more women running for public office at all levels."