I've been hearing a lot of mixed reviews about Netflix's new show 'Insatiable'. The premise of the series is the main girl is bullied for being overweight, and after getting into a fight where her jaw is wired shut for three months, she loses a significant amount of weight. Once she is viewed as skinny, she suddenly has the attention she craved from boys, and to her, all her problems are solved.
People on Twitter voiced their concerns fast. Was the show perpetuating negative stereotypes about women? Was the show perpetuating the idea that only a skinny body is a good body? Was it glamorizing eating disorders?
My first concern was its target audience is young girls.
The show opens up by explaining that the main character has been dieting and struggling with food as early as eight years old. Unfortunately many kids in America do. 80% of ten-year-old's have a fear of getting fat.
I start to feel bad for her, because I can see her mom, as well as the bullies at school contribute to her negative perception of her body. The mom jokes that she's very serious about food, and says, "it can't be easy looking like that and having a mom like me."
This shows how if your mom, caretaker or someone close to you is always talking negatively about themselves, or has a disordered view of food, it can be passed on and picked up by the children around them. This was and still is one of my biggest fears about someday possibly having kids. I want to make sure she has a healthy perception about her body and a healthy view of food.
Before her jaw is wired shut, she is using unhealthy behaviors in attempts to lose weight, like skipping meals, obsessively counting steps, etc.
The girls in her family and her close friend seem to be competing with each other when it comes to food, and if one eats 'junk' food, they are seen as weak. I think women especially can work to actively support each other when it comes to healthy body image and view of food. We can work not to shame each other about our bodies and things we can't change, and instead lift each other up. If someone eats 'junk' food, it does not mean they're weak. Food is meant to be enjoyed, in moderation, of course. But if you want a treat, you're more than entitled. You don't have to 'earn' it.
After she loses the weight, things seem to magically fall into place for her, which is not the case at all. I think this is an extremely dangerous idea to put in the mind of young girls. The size of your body will certainly not fix all of your problems if your perception and thoughts about your body and food are still unhealthy. The show fails to acknowledge the anxiety that can come as a result of losing that much weight in such a short amount of time. Just because her outside looks different doesn't mean her mental state around food and her body has changed, because she still has an immense fear of being fat, and she still views junk food as something 'bad' and puts herself above that.
I think the show perpetuates the idea that only skinny girls can be seen as desired in our culture.
"She was a beauty queen waiting to happen," one character said about her.
I think if one decides to watch the show, it's important to remember that eating disorders are one of the deadliest mental illnesses, and it is grossly under-treated, and not nearly talked about enough. Your worth has nothing to do about what your body looks like and the physical traits of your body. Your worth is defined by your character, and that doesn't change as your body does.
Overall, I do not think the show intended to do harm. I think it was an attempt at satire that fell short by perpetuating age-old stereotypes, rather than take a different stance or message.
If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating, visit nationaleatingdisorders.org
Friday, August 10, 2018
Thursday, August 9, 2018
I Finally Watched 'To the Bone' Here's What They Got Right
It took me a year and a half, but it finally happened. I watched Netflix's "To The Bone", about a girl suffering from anorexia and her recovery journey.
When it was first released I was very fresh into recovery and triggered by nearly everything. I would say I was in recovery, but not really sure if I was ready to commit to it. I put on the movie, and in the first ten minutes, I cried and turned off the movie.
Here's what I'll say: it's a good movie. For those who don't have first-hand knowledge of eating disorders, it can be an educational and eye-opening film. The intended audience is probably not intended for those who have suffered. It is not intending to be triggering or make light of a serious, life-threatening disease.
If you feel uncomfortable by the movie, put it off until you are in more stable footing in your recovery. If you still have you heart or mind set on watching the film, watch it with someone you are comfortable with. Pause the movie if you are having a hard time with a particular scene and talk about how you're feeling and why you feel this way. This can also help the other person understand the way you think about certain scenarios.
Now that I can look at the film objectively and with my first-hand knowledge of what treatment was like for me, I can see what the film did right. And they have many things right.
-People don't know how to confront the sufferer- this is frequently the case and people have different approaches which can be anger, giving up as a result of frustration, or trying to shock them into recovery. In the beginning, Ellen's step mom is upset seeing her body and the number on the scale. She takes a picture of her body and shows her what she looks like, asking her if she thinks it's beautiful. (often times, which was also the case in my own experience, the person suffering will have a skewed vision of what their body actually looks like), however, trying to guilt-trip them into recovery is not beneficial.
The sister says "I don't really get it just eat." She says she doesn't get to have a sister and every time she looks at pictures of the two, she remembers when she was sick. The sister believes her eating disorder was a conscious choice, as she asks her "every time I ask you why you do this I get some stupid, non answer."
A lot of people who don't have knowledge of eating disorders do not understand the internal struggle or how it came to be and will beg, plead, and maybe yell "just eat!" This is frustrating for both parties, as "just eat" is not a viable solution.
Her mom bought her a hamburger cake that says "eat up, Ellen" telling her it's supposed to be funny. This was a 'joke' that used to cause me to freak out, too, because people just didn't seem to understand!
-The sufferer doesn't comprehend the seriousness of the problem: Ellen uses humor to diffuse the situation, which was a coping mechanism I relied heavily on, too, to get the attention off of myself. Her step mom asks her "are you proud of yourself?" to which she responds "I'm maintaining". Even if you're maintaining your body weight, your weight is not at a healthy level. You cannot see the damage that was done to your organs and the nutrients you may be missing (electrolytes, potassium, etc.).
-Parents/ caretakers feel guilt: Most likely an eating disorder cannot be attributed to one problem or cause, but likely a series of influences that accumulated overtime. Parents often feel guilt of "how did they not see things were getting so bad?" or "how can we not have stopped this from happening?" The mom feels helpless, saying "I don't know what to do, she's dying right in front of us." This is how my mom felt with me, too. Unfortunately, it is something the sufferer needs to confront, and be ready and willing to accept help to get better.
-Isolation: The sufferer will often avoid social situations that involve food/alcohol to stick to their strict food rules, and as a result will spend a lot of time alone. Depression/anxiety can also lead the person to avoid outings.
-Eating disorders don't discriminate: in the treatment center there was a man, a woman of color, a young girl, and a pregnant woman. It can happen to anybody.
-Talking about food/numbers is triggering: in treatment, patients aren't allowed to discuss food, weight, numbers with each other and parents and doctors are encouraged to avoid this type of talk as well. Ellen sent another patient into a panic when she told her how many calories were in each bag of her feeding tube. When I had my feeding tube, another patient said "damn, they're really feeding you, huh?" and from that point on I would "forget" to re-plug my feeding tube after going to the bathroom, I would encourage doctors to turn it off for a period of time, or to slow down the rate of feed.
-Restricting food messes with your body: After an extended time of restriction, you can lose your period. You can start to grow extra hair on your body, as your bodies way to try to keep warm. After your body has fed off the fat tissue, it will go to feeding off muscle, than organ tissue.
-Food rules: The sufferer might have a strict set of rules surrounding what they will/will not eat, the times they will/will not eat, who they will eat with, where and how. These rules most likely will not make sense to anyone else, but to the one suffering they seem perfectly valid and justified at the time.
-More often than not, getting to the root of the problem is not black/white:
"How do you do it? Eat? I get all panicky thinking about it"- Ellen
"Feel the fear, do it anyway."
"Aren't you scared you aren't going to be able to stop?" - Ellen
"I'm not going to lie... I'm really fucking hungry"
"Whenever I can't sleep I draw food"
This was a big concern of mine as well when I was first recovering. I was so scared that my body would go from one extreme to the other, and that once I started taking in food again, I wouldn't be able to stop. This was not the case at all. My body would crave the things it was missing, if I was tuning in and fully listening to it. I wondered why I would crave things like peanut butter, and my dietitian told me our brains are mostly composed of fats, and my body was deprived of it for so long, my body is telling me that's what it desperately needs to start to heal.
-You can't force someone into treatment- You can, but if they're not ready to accept recovery into their life, then treatment will only be 30 days, their electrolytes and nutrient levels will be stabilized, then most likely they will return home and revert back to their old habits. What you can do is be a friend, be patient, listen, try to understand to the best of your ability, and if you can't listen with empathy to your friend and ask them what you can do to help.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can visit nationaleatingdisorders.org for more information and resources.
When it was first released I was very fresh into recovery and triggered by nearly everything. I would say I was in recovery, but not really sure if I was ready to commit to it. I put on the movie, and in the first ten minutes, I cried and turned off the movie.
Here's what I'll say: it's a good movie. For those who don't have first-hand knowledge of eating disorders, it can be an educational and eye-opening film. The intended audience is probably not intended for those who have suffered. It is not intending to be triggering or make light of a serious, life-threatening disease.
If you feel uncomfortable by the movie, put it off until you are in more stable footing in your recovery. If you still have you heart or mind set on watching the film, watch it with someone you are comfortable with. Pause the movie if you are having a hard time with a particular scene and talk about how you're feeling and why you feel this way. This can also help the other person understand the way you think about certain scenarios.
Now that I can look at the film objectively and with my first-hand knowledge of what treatment was like for me, I can see what the film did right. And they have many things right.
-People don't know how to confront the sufferer- this is frequently the case and people have different approaches which can be anger, giving up as a result of frustration, or trying to shock them into recovery. In the beginning, Ellen's step mom is upset seeing her body and the number on the scale. She takes a picture of her body and shows her what she looks like, asking her if she thinks it's beautiful. (often times, which was also the case in my own experience, the person suffering will have a skewed vision of what their body actually looks like), however, trying to guilt-trip them into recovery is not beneficial.
The sister says "I don't really get it just eat." She says she doesn't get to have a sister and every time she looks at pictures of the two, she remembers when she was sick. The sister believes her eating disorder was a conscious choice, as she asks her "every time I ask you why you do this I get some stupid, non answer."
A lot of people who don't have knowledge of eating disorders do not understand the internal struggle or how it came to be and will beg, plead, and maybe yell "just eat!" This is frustrating for both parties, as "just eat" is not a viable solution.
Her mom bought her a hamburger cake that says "eat up, Ellen" telling her it's supposed to be funny. This was a 'joke' that used to cause me to freak out, too, because people just didn't seem to understand!
-The sufferer doesn't comprehend the seriousness of the problem: Ellen uses humor to diffuse the situation, which was a coping mechanism I relied heavily on, too, to get the attention off of myself. Her step mom asks her "are you proud of yourself?" to which she responds "I'm maintaining". Even if you're maintaining your body weight, your weight is not at a healthy level. You cannot see the damage that was done to your organs and the nutrients you may be missing (electrolytes, potassium, etc.).
-Parents/ caretakers feel guilt: Most likely an eating disorder cannot be attributed to one problem or cause, but likely a series of influences that accumulated overtime. Parents often feel guilt of "how did they not see things were getting so bad?" or "how can we not have stopped this from happening?" The mom feels helpless, saying "I don't know what to do, she's dying right in front of us." This is how my mom felt with me, too. Unfortunately, it is something the sufferer needs to confront, and be ready and willing to accept help to get better.
-Isolation: The sufferer will often avoid social situations that involve food/alcohol to stick to their strict food rules, and as a result will spend a lot of time alone. Depression/anxiety can also lead the person to avoid outings.
-Eating disorders don't discriminate: in the treatment center there was a man, a woman of color, a young girl, and a pregnant woman. It can happen to anybody.
-Talking about food/numbers is triggering: in treatment, patients aren't allowed to discuss food, weight, numbers with each other and parents and doctors are encouraged to avoid this type of talk as well. Ellen sent another patient into a panic when she told her how many calories were in each bag of her feeding tube. When I had my feeding tube, another patient said "damn, they're really feeding you, huh?" and from that point on I would "forget" to re-plug my feeding tube after going to the bathroom, I would encourage doctors to turn it off for a period of time, or to slow down the rate of feed.
-Restricting food messes with your body: After an extended time of restriction, you can lose your period. You can start to grow extra hair on your body, as your bodies way to try to keep warm. After your body has fed off the fat tissue, it will go to feeding off muscle, than organ tissue.
-Food rules: The sufferer might have a strict set of rules surrounding what they will/will not eat, the times they will/will not eat, who they will eat with, where and how. These rules most likely will not make sense to anyone else, but to the one suffering they seem perfectly valid and justified at the time.
-More often than not, getting to the root of the problem is not black/white:
"How do you do it? Eat? I get all panicky thinking about it"- Ellen
"Feel the fear, do it anyway."
"Aren't you scared you aren't going to be able to stop?" - Ellen
"I'm not going to lie... I'm really fucking hungry"
"Whenever I can't sleep I draw food"
This was a big concern of mine as well when I was first recovering. I was so scared that my body would go from one extreme to the other, and that once I started taking in food again, I wouldn't be able to stop. This was not the case at all. My body would crave the things it was missing, if I was tuning in and fully listening to it. I wondered why I would crave things like peanut butter, and my dietitian told me our brains are mostly composed of fats, and my body was deprived of it for so long, my body is telling me that's what it desperately needs to start to heal.
-You can't force someone into treatment- You can, but if they're not ready to accept recovery into their life, then treatment will only be 30 days, their electrolytes and nutrient levels will be stabilized, then most likely they will return home and revert back to their old habits. What you can do is be a friend, be patient, listen, try to understand to the best of your ability, and if you can't listen with empathy to your friend and ask them what you can do to help.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can visit nationaleatingdisorders.org for more information and resources.
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