"Something's missing and I don't know how to fix it/ Something's missing and I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is at all/ I can't be sure that this sate of mind is not of my own design/ I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness/ for loneliness like this."
-'Something's Missing', John Mayer
There's a new wave of 'perfectionism' plaguing our generation, if that's the correct term.'Do everything, see everything, be everything syndrome', as I like to call it. Our generation is getting older, faster, taking on more responsibilities at a younger age either because they want to be self-sufficient 'right now', or they have no other choice.
Read through the headlines on trendy online media sites: "how to be debt-free by 23," "Why I quit my job and moved across the world", "How I travel the globe without a 9 to 5," "How to eat everything you want and still have a flat stomach."
Is it any wonder that our generation is increasingly more depressed and anxious?
If headlines were honest:
"What to do when you're 23 and you're debt is greater than your annual salary," "How I maintain a life with! no! money! (without asking my mom)" "How to eat whatever you want and not give a F-"
Regardless of what age you are, there will always be 'societal expectations' placed on your back. Is it just me, or have they gotten heavier?
In your 20's: have a full-time job, pay off your loans, don't miss a payment, drive a new-ish used car, have an extravagant social life, travel internationally at least twice a year with your friends (but don't forget to post about it!)
Late 20's- early 30's: "If you like it then you better put a ring on it!" Girl, show that ring. What do you mean you don't have- oh, awkward, change the subject! Start having babies or planning on it, become the perfect Pinterest mommy, pack lunch, plan playdates, forget sleep and your love for your husband, it's all about the child, and other moms, now. Have that wedding that you've been planning with your friends since you were 13. Remember: it's not about your love story, it's about the guests and the pictures, so keep that in mind during the planning process. This is also around the time you perfect your skincare routine, switch to only expensive products that you have to import. Have a workout routine and start food-shaming your friends for eating something you wish you weren't afraid of.
The truth is: no one is happy following these perceived timelines or abiding by the rules we think we have to follow. So why do we do it? Who are we trying to impress?
If headlines told the truth: wherever you're at in life, in this current moment; you're doing it right. In fact, you're doing amazing.
If you have student loans that you have yet to pay off, you have a diploma in hand, and hopefully are working in a field you love. If not, I hope it comes for you very soon. Keep looking.
If you can't travel internationally, start locally. Go to a coffee shop you haven't been to yet, explore a state park. You don't have to spend a ton of money to gain experience.
If you don't have a ring, so what? It does not add, nor does it take away from your worth. If you have a special someone, having the ring doesn't change what you have. If you don't have that special someone, be patient, it will happen for you, if that's something you want.
If you don't have a new car, depreciating fresh off the lot, join the club! My car and I are almost the same age, the AC has given up, so has the radio, but in our defense, it still has tires. It gets me from A to B, and B gives me a paycheck.
If you don't have a 'workout routine' or an 'eating plan', good for you. Of course your health is important, so still be sure to take care of yourself, but focus your energy on something that is important to you. Maybe it's art, maybe it's volunteering, or research, no one can dictate that for you.
If you're feeling bad or stressed about the so-called 'timeline of life', let's perfect our response together: "F- that!" Stop comparing, stop competing and live your life on your own terms.
